I am sick of individualistic mindsets. Being a person who loves to travel I have encountered many different personalities and people with whom I’ve been able to get along, as well as people who I just can’t stand. After a long time of trying to analyze why I felt so overwhelmed in my work environment I realized that I can’t stand individualistic mindsets, and that I am constantly surrounded by them. People who have individualistic mindsets only care about themselves and their own well-being, but the problem does not stop there. Individualistic people usually care about themselves and have a constant desire to be better than others. I struggle with the idea of people not wanting to support me just because they do not want me to succeed. I am overwhelmed by the amount of jealousy that people around me show, and I don’t mean it only towards me, but towards everybody else.
I see the start of this issue in my students, they are taught by other people to always be better than someone else. “You need to make a 100”, “You need to beat the others”, “If you get a higher grade I will give you some candy”. But WHY? I’M TIRED OF LISTENING TO THIS AND SEE THE AMOUNT OF STRESS MY STUDENTS GO THROUGH. One of them gave me a bracelet two days ago, and the bracelet said “Compete EVERYday”, I had never disagreed more with a quote.
Being a type A person, I grew up thinking that it was all about being the best and competing with other people. Oh man, was I wrong. For most part of my life, I was blindsided by competition and by the falseness of “success”. I still remember the first speech contest that I lost, and I remember crying in the bathroom because I felt less than others, because I was defeated. Something was wrong with my mindset, because IM NOT ANYBODY ELSE, I’M MYSELF. I allowed other people to tell me I was not good enough, but guess what? I am, we all are.
The next year after my defeat I was hesitating wether I should compete or not, my self-esteem was destroyed, but I loved poetry. That year I made a commitment to myself to be a better version of ME. That year I was not trying to beat anyone, I was trying to be a better Alejandra. I wanted to feel my poem, to share it with others and hopefully help someone through my words. The result was successful, I did not win, I lost for the second time, but I won something much bigger. I earned love to myself, I understood that by focusing on others successes and abilities, I was missing out on mine. I was so concentrated on beating others that I forgot about my own passions…
Spanish translation coming up tonight…
Una nagual in training,